Spilled Ink

Jenny Penland

XV ‣ Violent Happenstance.

FIFTEEN. I could be wrong (nine was pretty rough), but I think this is the first time I’ve ever written your birthday letter while you’re...

Jenny Penland

Late Night Dopamine ‣ This is your brain on love.

Perhaps a mind's only fine when it pretends. Must be why it always begins again.

Jenny Penland

Envisage ‣ A broken glance that whispers - never, ever, ever.

Imagine saying no until it excites you; 'til it bores you. Imagine saying no until you can't imagine wasting you breath on the syllable.

Jenny Penland

Heart Shaped Rain Clouds ‣ how far we go to forget.

I’ve never much identified with sad. I’ve been hurt and torn and scared. Flippant, anxious, wary. I’ve known the sting of betrayal’s...

Jenny Penland

Warning Label ‣ The itch you can't scratch out.

Remind yourself at the end, before I crawl my way in, under your skin.

Jenny Penland

VIII ‣ The girl who lived.

This time, eight years ago, I laid beside you, contemplating life. Specifically, my life. And what was left of it. I was so young. Too...

Jenny Penland

VII ‣ Never Grow Up.

I've read that seven is an age of exploration, self-critique and combative complaining. I'm here to report that in the case of one...

Jenny Penland

Growing Pains ‣ She's my litmus for all others.

I close my eyes and try to memorize the patterned sound of squeak-creak-squeak-creak, as our chair rocks back and forth atop the uneven wood

Jenny Penland

A Flame By Any Other Name ‣ The day she learned the difference.

You know when the train’s comin' - How fast it’s goin’ - And that you’re standin’ - Where it’s headed.

Jenny Penland

Almost ≠ Enough ‣ Paper Cuts.

There’s this part of me that hungers for the bloodlet. It’s like breaking a bone to set a sprain or lighting a controlled burn to put out...

Jenny Penland

X ‣ Fail big.

Some nine months and ten years ago: forty-six chromosomes, two blue lines, and the unwavering perseverance of a girl too young to know...